Death Threat ‘Sent from my iPhone’

THE CYBERSPHERE – Instantly regretting every decision that had led to this moment, Tim Northbrook realized a bit too late that he had left his default “Sent from my iPhone” email signature as well as his custom “Warmly, Tim N.” signature on the death threat he had just sent to his dog’s newest masseuse. 

Sources close to Northbrook reported that he has been known to dish out seemingly anonymous intimidating remarks before finding out he personally signed them all with his first and last name in addition to his address and weekly horoscope. 

“He threatened to drown me after I parked on the wrong side of the street during street cleaning,” former neighbor Georgina Pinte said. “It claimed to be from an anonymous neighbor but Tim’s signature was right there at the bottom.” Pinte later added that she couldn’t blame him because, according to the weekly horoscope, Mercury was in retrograde. 

Local authorities arrested Northbrook this morning at his residence where they seized his computer and promptly found over 300 highly identifiable emailed death threats with he had sent over the years.

“The suspect’s emails have slowly evolved over the years,” Detective F.L. Luepenbaum told Gatekeeper reporters. “At first his emails were just signed ‘Sent from my iPhone” but eventually he added horoscopes, sudoku, and a quote of the day. It’s more like the Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer than a death threat.”

Northbrook is suspected to appear in court later this month.

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