Tonsils Put Back In

By Mo Macsai-Goren

PHILADELPHIA – Controversial surgeon Dr. Tobias L. Hartford announced the success of his latest surgical endeavor late Wednesday night. Hartford, a longtime ENT, revealed that he had conducted the first successful reverse tonsillectomy in human history.

“I just wanted to see if I could do it,” Dr. Hartford said. “The patient had them removed a couple years ago in an effort to minimize infection. When that didn’t work, we figured we may as well put them back in.”

The successful surgery has encouraged Hartford to make plans to put tonsils back into a variety of his patients. Some plans involve putting multiple sets of tonsils into one patient, for no apparent reason.

This surgery marks the latest success in Hartford’s experimental medical history, with past ventures including fingernail reversal and forehead augmentation.

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