New Record! University-Issued Student Planner Opened Twice

By David Colton

MADISON, WI — After kicking off the semester by declaring to his parents and anyone who would listen that he will finally become organized, local student Vern Puttle once again proved that he cannot keep a promise even to himself.

Little Vernon Puttle had been in school for just two days when his English teacher told him he had a quiz in a week.

That was the last time he would open it for three weeks.

“I wrote down the word ‘study’ three weeks ago and I haven’t had any quizzes or tests yet,” said Vern Puttle, whose backpack is full of crumpled loose-leaf paper, “I’m probably good, right?”

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