By David Colton
WALDORF, MD — We all knew this day was coming.
Good Charlotte has finally come out and said what people have been saying for years. After years of vicious denial by the Christian Church, which is already amid scandals aplenty, it appears no choice remains but to publicly acknowledge the truth.
“Now that Benji, Joel, Billy and Paul have thrust the church into the spotlight and exposed them, I can tell the world is ready for a new breed of religion,” said Purman Stove, Good Charlotte fan and unpublished author of several teen romance novels.
The pop punk band was initially popular in the early 2000s, which is said to be when the idea of a national holiday to celebrate Good Charlotte originally began circulating.
Even though this is arguably the most well-known public rumor to circulate in the last two decades, the band did us all the favor of tweeting proof to go along with the stunning revelation.
The band will put out 3 18-song albums this weekend, one for every day Benji overslept and missed rehearsal.
Of course, on the third day, he makes it to rehearsal on time and the boys are ready for another gig.