By Mo Macsai-Goren
Asserting his dominance over the hardworking Uber driver who picked him up from yet another long day at Deutsche Bank, area man Chris Cox refused to sit shotgun on his hour-long ride home. Citing his distain of being seen as equal to his driver, Cox flung his briefcase against the opposite side of the car before sitting and repeatedly calling the driver “buddy” or “big guy.” While Cox Ubers to and from his job as a financial strategist at Deutsche bank every single day, he has yet to sit next to the driver, even in an otherwise-full Uber Pool. According to his passenger reviews, Cox has been known to request that fellow Uber Pool passengers relocate to the front seat so he can maintain the illusion that he is in an episode of Succession. He has been known to ask the driver to close the partition despite riding primarily in PT Cruisers and Kia Sorentos. Sources close to Cox have said that he has always been terrified of being perceived as equal in status to service industry workers, despite never having worked in the industry himself. When asked why he also refuses to tip servers and drivers, Cox expressed deep concern and asked why he would give shell out more money for someone who is just “doing their job.”
The Gatekeeper 