By David Colton

MIDDLEBUSH HALL—This morning, local English graduate student and teaching assistant Gerald McDervish did his first lecture all by himself!

The section of Intro to English 1000 was scheduled to receive its first guest lecture from this sad 30-year old, who still uses a backpack with wheels, this morning at 10:30. However, it wasn’t long before things took a turn for the worst.

“At first it was just the audio that wasn’t working,” says sophomore Geoff Bicep, “but then it turned out there was another video playing on a separate tab, and we all know how long that can take to sort out”

The video was supposed to be an introduction on how to write poetry, and It was to be accompanied by a song. After fiddling with the computer for 20 minutes and cursing under his breath (but still into the microphone), he finally gave up and moved on.

“Honestly, I’m glad it didn’t work out for him, because it seems like he was ready to embarrass himself,” explains English professor Phyllis Blimp, “I mean, a song? What are these kids, eight?”

Clearly, however, the class appreciated McDervish’s ability to recover from the mishap, as he was met with resounding applause at the end of class.

“I felt terrible for the guy,” explains Bicep, “by the end of it he was super sweaty and kept stuttering… I think everyone was just super uncomfortable, and that’s why we clapped when it was finally over.”

McDervish’s next lecture is scheduled for Wednesday, where he will discuss socioeconomical inequality using clicker questions.