Bruce Springsteen to Release First New Album in Five Minutes

By David Colton

NEW JERSEY — Following seconds of speculation about how the beloved leader of the E-Street Band would spend his time after his most recent release, Bruce “The Boss” Springsteen unveiled plans for yet another album.

“We’ve just entered an entirely new era of Bruce,” said Craig Jones, Springsteen fan and father of four sons named Bruce, “I really can’t wait to see how he shifts his sound for this 19th album — that’s 42 if you count live records, brother.”

Springsteen, who was recently spotted jogging along the New Jersey Turnpike in sweats and a trash bag, finished up his debut run on Broadway this summer.

Bruce says his newest album is an homage to the stage.

“Only after learning the important intricacies of acting for a live audience was able to sit back down and write another Jersey anthem,” said Springsteen, who is best known for his one-off musical adaption of the O.J. Simpson trial “The Bruce is Loose.”

The album, titled Thespian’s Dilemma, marks the major rock star’s first release since he got up from the couch and walked into his living room.

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