By Stacey Torkelson
Taking your relationship to the next level can be intimidating, but there’s no more intimate moment than when your man agrees to share his his exact geographic coordinates with you at all times. Just like moving in together or getting a dog, adjusting your boyfriend’s location settings to alert you whenever he leaves work can be a telltale step to a healthy, happy forever. With these five ideas in tow, you can creatively coax your partner towards “Share Indefinitely.”
Take Him to Bonnaroo.
You might have to sit through three Phish sets, but there’s no denying the logic in having his location shared with you for the duration of the trip as he will inevitably take too many shrooms and get lost.
Learn Mandarin, change his language settings to Mandarin, and then offer to help fix it.
If Bonnaroo tickets are too expensive, there are thousands of online videos teaching basic Mandarin. With a few weeks of dedication and an Academy Award nominated performance offering help to solve an issue you’ve incited, you can have his coordinates in no time.
Orchestrate and execute a TED Talk about other couples you’re friends with who share locations.
“Mckenzie has Aaron’s location so that she can surprise him with food and stuff at his place all the time. Also they’re like, really happy…”
Record and replicate his finger prints.
If you know where he keeps his toothbrush, you’re already halfway there. Order a children’s spy kit from Amazon or invest in a hot glue gun and you’ll be on your way to his latitudinal and longitudinal location at any hour of the day.
Not for the faint of heart, this idea requires the most risk and effort. If all of the previous options fail, your last resort can be politely asking him to please share his location with you indefinitely. No, not for any reason :))