Sport Clips Unveils New Slogan “Women Are Inferior”

By David Colton

CHESTERFIELD, MO — ESPN Classic played on the TV and his ears were filled with Daughtry as Aiden O’Connor sat down for his sixteenth consecutive haircut at Sport Clips.

“I just thought the whole hair store was so cool,” said O’Connor, whose locks were cut using teal safety scissors, “plus they clearly display their views on women, which really sold me.”

Aiden’s first visit to Sport Clips was no coincidence, as it comes right on the heels of the debut of the company’s new slogan.

The slogan is finally being changed from the long-celebrated “It’s good to be a guy.”

Yes, that is the actual slogan. Look it up. Right now.

Chet Strafe, self-proclaimed founder & CEO of men’s hair and also Sport Clips, said he doesn’t get what all the fuss is about.

“Look. Look at me. Look. At. Me. Let me tell you something. I invented men’s hair,” Chet said in a series of Tik Tok videos sent from his personal TopGolf Suite.

“And for that reason, there is nobody — nobody— that understands women more than me, Strafe said.

“I mean, bro, can I be serious? I want to be serious for a second. Can I be serious? I ask women all the time if they know who started this whole ‘men’s hair’ thing. Every single time, I kid you not, they mention something about my TopGolf suite.”

Sport Clips also announced Tuesday that it will no longer be hiring female employees, a move that Chet says will allow for a long-planned uptick in unprecedented pornography screenings.

UPDATE: Since debuting the new slogan, Sport Clips Inc. has acquired both GameStop and Skechers.