By Grace Bahler
CHICAGO—Monday, 2 a.m., you couldn’t sleep. BuzzFeed knew, and it had a great
quiz for you that of course made sense and wasn’t creepy at all: Take This Quiz and
We’ll Reveal What Kind of a Serial Killer You’d Be! Fake Serial Killers WON’T Get Less
You went through, question after question, answering things like ‘Do You Like Zac Efron
as Ted Bundy,’ ‘Did You Know Zac Efron Is Ripped,’ and ‘What’s Your Favorite Zac
Efron Movie?’ It was tough, but ultimately, you made it through.
And OMG! You would make such a great serial killer! So cute, right?!
“Congratulations,” your result read. “You would literally be the perfect serial killer. You
are hot, buzzworthy, and easy to romanticize in the media. Years after you end many
people’s lives and devastate their families for life, you’re totally going to get your own
movie! OMG GO YOU!”
You were, like, totally born for this. BuzzFeed quizzes are as accurate as
horoscopes—immensely if you believe them! And BuzzFeed does. In fact, they are so
rooting for you. Expect a package of equipment in the mail to get started ASAP. The
longer your streak, the more material for a biopic, and that’s what the real goal is here.
Who cares about morals or ethics or anything here? Not BuzzFeed! Not you! It’s time
for you to get someone hot to play you in a movie.
Take the next quiz: Who Will Play You in the Movie About You Being a Serial Killer?