By Mo Macsai-Goren
CHICAGO – Following her date’s 20-minute rant on beef jerky taxonomy, local colorblind advertising executive Theresa Leonard realized the man she had met on Tinder Friday night was displaying some serious warning signs.
“As soon as he started talking about his endeavors into DIY yogurt, I realized I was in too deep,” Leonard told Gatekeeper reporters. “We hadn’t even ordered drinks yet before he started ranting about deep state conspiracy theories.”
Leonard noticed the grey flags in his conversational topics of choice and attempted to change the subject to the day’s weather. Before she could, he was on a tangent about climate change somehow being linked to the Clinton Foundation.
“This is so disappointing because his profile seemed so normal,” Leonard said. “I don’t think there’ll be a second date. Too many grey flags this time around, maybe it was the venue choice? I get free tickets to the Grey Man Group, maybe I’ll take my next date to that.
As a woman on Tinder, Leonard already has hundreds of camo-clad potential suitors lining up in her Tinder likes. She has yet to reveal her latest confirmed matches.