BREAK ROOM – Damn it, Corey! I’m sick of your stinky little ham cutlets defiling the sanctity of the break room. People eat in here for Christ’s sake.

Do you know how hard it is to eat my parfaits in here with the pungent, noxious stench of your tepid Boar’s Head assaulting my nostrils? Get it together man.

Everyone’s been talking about your malodorous meats that’ve been out since yesterday morning. There’s even talk about getting HR involved. Put them in the fridge like a big boy dammit!