Report Finds Nation’s Edible Consumers Not Feeling Anything Yet

By Mo Macsai-Goren

DENVER – Insisting that the previous dose could not possibly be high enough, a new study has revealed that the Nation’s edible consumers are still not feeling anything yet.

According to the report, these stupid chocolates were supposed to kick in like, 30 minutes ago. In order to combat the delayed psychoactive results, consumers are advised to just go ahead and eat the rest of them.

“It’s only weed, right? What could go wrong?” Every single edible consumer asked before downing the rest of the included doses and even weirdly licking the package, as if that would help.

The report goes on to detail different activities to do while you wait such as completely forgetting about the edibles and diving head first into a political debate with your uncle.

The Nation’s edible consumers went on to amend the report by insisting that they be taken to the hospital immediately, citing the feeling of their heartbeat in their eyelids, genuinely forgetting that inhaling is a vital component of breathing, and their sudden tolerance for the 2007 smash hit “Waterhouse: Legend of the Deep.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s