By David Colton

BRITISH HOSPITAL — Cameras flashed and cheers echoed through the streets of London this morning as Prince Harry and Meghan Markle welcomed a royal baby into the world.

Everyone was thrilled — that is, everyone except the Duchess of Sussex herself. For her, this was the worst-case scenario.

When the nurse stood up with the newborn for the first time, he had a puzzled look on his face. For Meghan, she knew exactly what that meant: her baby looked like Barry Manilow.

She immediately told Harry that she didn’t know how this was possible — she had never even heard “Copacabana” or seen the music video.

For Harry, it was a dream come true.

“This… is the best day of my life,” said the Duke of Sussex, who left his wife with their newborn while he went to rummage through his parents’ basement for his original 7” pressing of “Mandy.”

Harry pushed his way through a barrage of reporters on the way out of the hospital, sprinting whenever he had the chance.

He said he’s never felt more motivated to find or do anything in his entire life.