By Mo Macsai-Goren

THE DESSERT – Discovering new evidence in the infamous 1993 Jensen homicide case, Camel detective Roger L. Hungus announced to the public that he would be reopening the case in an effort to chase his newfound hunch.

Hungus gained notoriety in the early 1990s for his tendency to disregard ample, pertinent evidence in exchange for sporadic instinctual feelings, mostly brought on by high doses of caffeine.

Although unorthodox, Hungus’ methods have led to convictions in over 550 homicide cases over the last 25 years. Desert Police Department Captain Sheldon O. Dune awarded Hungus with the Chadwick V. Grindle Medal, the DPD’s highest honor.

Those close to Hungus expect him to announce his retirement sometime in the next year in order to spend more time with his family and spiraling into deep state conspiracy theories disguised as evidence-based hunches.