Dungeons club to join forces with Dragons club, forming Social Anxiety Club


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By David Colton

ERIC’S STEPDAD’S BASEMENT—In an absolutely unexpected and altogether captivating display of events, the two most underwhelming clubs at Jefferson High met on Wednesday afternoon.

“We really think this decision is for the best,” said Dungeons club president Phillip Wendel, “our guys have been wanting to meet some other people for their entire lives, really.”

The Dungeons club, which is made up of four members, was initially conceived by the mothers of the prestigious club’s four members, who have yet to see the light of day.

The Dragons club, on the other hand, has their own thing going.

“Yeah we usually just sit, drink milk, and discuss dragons,” says Dragons club president Yurt Mooney, “it’s usually pretty lit; that is, lit from the fire of a Chinese Fireball.”

The name “Social Anxiety Club” stems from each of the clubs’ deep-seated love for Percy Jackson & the Olympians fan fiction.

The meeting, which is set to take place around 3:00, is said to “maybe have some snacks, depending on Eric’s mom” and is even rumored to “have like, so much milk.”

I will not be attending this meeting.